No bravery required; you're supposed to be here - Upcomer
Forgot password
Enter the email address you used when you joined and we'll send you instructions to reset your password.
If you used Apple or Google to create your account, this process will create a password for your existing account.
This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.
Reset password instructions sent. If you have an account with us, you will receive an email within a few minutes.
Something went wrong. Try again or contact support if the problem persists.

No bravery required; you’re supposed to be here

“Excuse me — you in the back? I think you’re in the wrong room.”

Recommended Videos

There is this hotness I feel rising through my body. It starts at my ears, then my chest, until soon I’m very aware of how uncomfortable I feel. I didn’t think the group in the lecture center was particularly big, but with seemingly every eye on me the large classroom felt filled to capacity.

I think back to a year prior, at the New York Institute of Technology. It’s 2006 and I’m sitting in the office of the dean of freshman students. I’ve just told her I don’t feel very comfortable on campus. It’s been a little more than a month since I came out as Trans and things haven’t been going too well.

I was just starting to experiment with my authentic self, but I met opposition at every turn. Whether professors openly mocked me, students committed microaggressions, or my roommates acted outright aggressive — it was hard to want to learn.

At the time, NYIT had no sexuality non-discrimination policy. Things were so bad, the LGBTQIA club was an underground thing. You had to know someone to be invited, and its members rarely met. And there I was, feeling very small in this office, finding out that the school had nothing to offer me. That, despite her role to set up freshmen for success, she was telling me I would need to make my own life jacket.

“We just don’t have a policy in place to protect students like you. I know that isn’t what you want to hear. But you can help change that. If you stick it out, you can help the administration see —”